Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
