I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
