I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
