I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
