Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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