as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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