do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
