you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Also, beer. Big fan.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
