Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
