he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
