So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You've changed since you got that strap on
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
