similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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