I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
