Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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