I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Randomize
