guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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