i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
