Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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