apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
