Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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