kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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