garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
