He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
