i don't like sucking hair
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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