Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
