I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
