i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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