i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
