he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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