you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Did I show you my penis last night?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Randomize
