Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
