dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
