Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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