Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
