Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
