Having a random hookup so left but love u
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
