thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
