Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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