I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
