I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
