Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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