Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
