Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
