Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
