Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
