You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
