come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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