dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
