So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
