Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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