At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
